Waiting

I\’m waiting to hear an answer from God on whether to move into a ministry. The silence is deafening…do you know what I mean? Nada, nada, nada is coming through. Well, that isn\’t entirely true, as I think I\’m hearing the word \’wait, timing isn\’t right\’. Is what I\’m hearing myself or God? I don\’t know and \’wait\’ is such a nebulous answer, isn\’t it? I mean, the only way I\’ll know for sure it is Him saying \’wait\’ is if He later says \’go now\’. Lovely…

So, essentially, I\’m sitting and waiting for a \’go now\’. What if I never get those words…does that mean I misheard \’wait\’? Does that mean this blog is little more than a waste of my time and a waste of your reading? Does that mean I should have heard \’no\’ instead?

Oh whatever, so it goes, so it is. I may end up with egg on my face or I may actually move into a new ministry…I guess I should be content with either. Being content with either flies in the face of my pride, though, but that is probably one of the main points…I need boatloads of humility, so maybe that is what this is about.

I read last night (after our internet connection got hit and miss-ey and I couldn\’t properly play facebook\’s Scramble game anymore) something I know but had forgotten: we have to care less about our ability to hear Him and rely more on His ability to speak so we can hear. Our focus can get all self-centered if we simply look to whether we are hearing Him and whether or not we can follow Him. If we focus instead on the fact that He can speak and lead, we relax…the onus is taken off our puny efforts and is placed where it belongs, on Him. Coupled with this, though, has to be an openness to hearing Him…that is our responsibility, I’d say, stay open and responsive.

So, I guess that leaves me waiting expectantly for His \’go ahead now\’. If I never hear these words from above, then surely He\’ll say something else I can hear when the time is right…

(Contemplative prayer: haven\’t done it yet today.)

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2 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. Hello Sis. I guess that we have all been to this place. Of course there are some of us who want to do something so badly that we really think that we hear God say “go for it!” But I believe that you are doing just what God has comanded you to do “wait.” He is at work preparing your heart and the hearts of those you need to be able to trust. I think that you know that He is going to give you a new ministry, and gee waiting is so hard. But praise God, he has given you the wisdom to wait and let Him work out the details. After all these years of serving God one of the things I have learned is His timing is perfect. Here is my prayer for you…
    Lord I ask that you just pour out your blessings of wisdom and patence on my sister Jodi. I ask that you just give her the desires of her heart acording to your will. And Lord will you please just give her a sign that you are leading her down this path toward the work that you have set aside for her to do, that you might be glorified. All this I ask in your son’s name, amen.

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